There really appears to be a set of both men and women who thrive in the single activities like pigs thrive in mud. To drop them in the middle of a group of other singles is like haveing them airlifted to Mecca. The scripts come to the front of their heads so quickly it comes out as normal conversation. Each type of person they would meet would get a slightly different script from them. One may hear about their 'career' real or imagined, and another may hear about the Brazillian they just had done, and how much it hurt. The longer in the scene the more variations and subleties would grow. Scripts would include physical 'tics' as well. Everytime one script would work it would get added to the library for next time. Hair flips, pectoral flex, and casual looks over ones own shoulder to give that sexy profile a good show. The more they are used the easier it is to embellish on them and the longer they will hold someones attention. Maybe long enough to get that fourth drink in her. A casual hit/push on the chest with a laugh. A joke about her arms and how strong they look...hmmm let me feel. Yeah right.
Is there anything wrong with being good at this? Is there a reason to look down on this group of people who are especially good at flirting? Are they really a danger, or I am just singin' the blues because I suck at this? YES! They really are! The longer someone is in the dating pool 'looking' the better they get at the casual conversation of a singles crowd. The longer someone is in a relationship the more uncomfortable they are in the same environment. And who would be the better long term partner? Well who knows, that is your call, but as I find myself in these situations a bit more often, I still stay away as much as possible, I am noticing that I suck at all of this. Maybe I am just crying sour grapes, and possibly my self esteem needs to be raised. Yeah probably, but I am finding myself lagging way behind others that I have surpassed in other areas of life. Its not a win lose thing....well hell yeah it is a win lose thing. Damn it. In this environment confidence rules the day. Confindence is the T-Rex of emotions. Nothing is sexier than a super confident male or female. The strong look in the eyes, the fluid movements. Its like they have tattooed across their face the words 'You WILL like me'.
Those glancing around and inspecting shoe laces are going home alone and are having no free drinks.
Sort of like gambleing, which I suck at, the more you win the more you like it. The more you lose the less you like it. I lose on slots so consistantly that I really dont have any idea why anyone would ever want to play them. I can drop a fifty on the mat by the door and just leave and have about as much fun. I have lost so many times that it just seems dumb to play anymore. But I have many friends who love it. You probably love it. You have probably won too. Right? EIther play long enough that you break even and have a nice night, or have won a few bankrolls and are addicted to the chase. Playing the slots is a numbers thing. The more you play the more you will lose but the higher your chance of a big score. Singles bars and events are the same.
Some in dating are addicted to the chase. The singles bars, and events are like the Serengetti to a lion. Wide open plaines with unobstructed views of the prey. Normally the prey can run and hide. During work hours our game faces are on, we are alert in control and ready for battle. But at the bars the drinks weigh us down, loosen our grips on the gates that keep 'Those' types out and slip. The chase begins with a flirt, and then the scripts come out, the smiles get painted on and fun begins. Who will play who. Here everyone gets played. Guys for money, girls for sex. Duh! But who is playing for a relationship? If you find yourself there you, and everyone else are playing for something. Maybe you want to get free drinks or want the most numbers, or the number from the hottest person whoever it might be that night. Maybe its to get laid, and at times that might have its place. Whatever it is the odds are really good that whoever you bump into there is not playing for conversation for conversations sake. Just like in used cars, the saying goes "close 'em now because if they leave here you wont ever see them again." No such thing as a Be-Back ( as in " I will be back tomorrow) in used cars.
This all sounds like I hate the whole thing and I dont. Anything, no not just anything, everything in moderation. We should all join in the fun from time to time, but when you find you are getting good at it, ask yourself why you are getting so good at it. Are you afraid to give up the chase? Are you addicted to the small talk, the short term goals? Would it be wrong if you were, not necessarily its your life. I find however that when someone really wants a new partner and really wants to expand their chances of meeting him or her they are at a severe dissadvantage by being so out of practice. So here is the question, How do you get good at it without doing for a living?
Is there anything wrong with being good at this? Is there a reason to look down on this group of people who are especially good at flirting? Are they really a danger, or I am just singin' the blues because I suck at this? YES! They really are! The longer someone is in the dating pool 'looking' the better they get at the casual conversation of a singles crowd. The longer someone is in a relationship the more uncomfortable they are in the same environment. And who would be the better long term partner? Well who knows, that is your call, but as I find myself in these situations a bit more often, I still stay away as much as possible, I am noticing that I suck at all of this. Maybe I am just crying sour grapes, and possibly my self esteem needs to be raised. Yeah probably, but I am finding myself lagging way behind others that I have surpassed in other areas of life. Its not a win lose thing....well hell yeah it is a win lose thing. Damn it. In this environment confidence rules the day. Confindence is the T-Rex of emotions. Nothing is sexier than a super confident male or female. The strong look in the eyes, the fluid movements. Its like they have tattooed across their face the words 'You WILL like me'.
Those glancing around and inspecting shoe laces are going home alone and are having no free drinks.
Sort of like gambleing, which I suck at, the more you win the more you like it. The more you lose the less you like it. I lose on slots so consistantly that I really dont have any idea why anyone would ever want to play them. I can drop a fifty on the mat by the door and just leave and have about as much fun. I have lost so many times that it just seems dumb to play anymore. But I have many friends who love it. You probably love it. You have probably won too. Right? EIther play long enough that you break even and have a nice night, or have won a few bankrolls and are addicted to the chase. Playing the slots is a numbers thing. The more you play the more you will lose but the higher your chance of a big score. Singles bars and events are the same.
Some in dating are addicted to the chase. The singles bars, and events are like the Serengetti to a lion. Wide open plaines with unobstructed views of the prey. Normally the prey can run and hide. During work hours our game faces are on, we are alert in control and ready for battle. But at the bars the drinks weigh us down, loosen our grips on the gates that keep 'Those' types out and slip. The chase begins with a flirt, and then the scripts come out, the smiles get painted on and fun begins. Who will play who. Here everyone gets played. Guys for money, girls for sex. Duh! But who is playing for a relationship? If you find yourself there you, and everyone else are playing for something. Maybe you want to get free drinks or want the most numbers, or the number from the hottest person whoever it might be that night. Maybe its to get laid, and at times that might have its place. Whatever it is the odds are really good that whoever you bump into there is not playing for conversation for conversations sake. Just like in used cars, the saying goes "close 'em now because if they leave here you wont ever see them again." No such thing as a Be-Back ( as in " I will be back tomorrow) in used cars.
This all sounds like I hate the whole thing and I dont. Anything, no not just anything, everything in moderation. We should all join in the fun from time to time, but when you find you are getting good at it, ask yourself why you are getting so good at it. Are you afraid to give up the chase? Are you addicted to the small talk, the short term goals? Would it be wrong if you were, not necessarily its your life. I find however that when someone really wants a new partner and really wants to expand their chances of meeting him or her they are at a severe dissadvantage by being so out of practice. So here is the question, How do you get good at it without doing for a living?
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