Blind dates

Blind Dates
Seems as often as once a week, maybe less here and there, someone, usually a female asks, or more accurately states that she has a girlfriend who is really nice and single and well.....I think you two would really hit it off. In fact I have actually never heard it end there, not once. The next couple of minutes are me smiling and nodding my head while she praises her friend and all of her accomplishments. Twice in fact this month I have heard this and both of these included as accomplishments the fact that they owned their own houses. Of course a litany of compliments for their appearance are included but since women really have no idea what constitutes a good looking woman to a guy that is all samarily ignored. How they look, how nice they are, and if I keep quiet the list will continue. She likes to hike, you like to hike right? She loves to ski, and jog and I know you like to do that. She has traveled and does very well for herself. All this leads to the question; Are blind dates ever a good idea....Ever?
On the surface blind dates make alot of sence. A person, lets agree it is usually a female, who finds herself in a situation where she knows two people. One a man and one a woman. Hmmm, I live in Seattle lets drop the gender whenever possible. Gender labels are flimsey here at best. Each one she likes, for various reasons, each one has attractive qualities that she likes, and each one is single. BOOM! Right? What is the problem with that? Honestly there shouldnt be one, it really seems like a perfect system. Each person has verification that the other is normal, each person comes with a stamp of approval like USDA. Who in their right minds would buy meat from the store that was not stamped with a government seal? So who would risk a date with someone who has not been 'verified'?
Really, I wish it worked, but it doesnt seem to for several reasons. One being simple. It is the same reason why no one should listen to movie critics unless they have a long track record of being right on the money for you. Lets take that same movie critic(always a man it seems) and drop him, into your livingroom right now. Lets then ask him to look around and see what he gives the thumbs up to or the thumbs down to. Let him see what is on your TV, what you are eating, what your pictures look like on your walls, your clothes, and what you are doing with your time. Lets see how many things he likes that you like. Think he likes the same food, the same music, the same types of people with the same types of personalities? Do you think he even voted for the same presidential canditate? If very many of these things dont line up, then why would we think we would like the same movies as he does. Nothing about his life would be appealing to us, ours is not appealing to him, but we think we would all choose the same movie given the option?
I loved Dumb and dumber, I love still all Will Farrell movies, Goldmember and the 40 year old Virgin. I love all slapstick humor, love chocolate milk spraying from noses, love to watch people explode from overdoses of laxitives. I love it. But I still have not seen Titanic. >GASP< Dont want to because it was made with one intention and that intention was to make us sad. I dont think there is anything wrong with that, I understand that sometimes everyone needs a teary release and a movie like this can be the trigger you need to start the waterworks, but I really dont like to feel that way. Now with no scientific proof, and being way too lazy to investigate this claim, I will guess that Titanic got better reviews than Dumb and Dumber. Just a guess. Should I have just followed the well meaning recomendation?
Each of us is so different, with such an abundance of reasons why, the shear weight of them could stop a Kleidsdale. So our friend who is trying to set us up is being honest and altruistic when she makes this love connection but with all of our deep diffenences what chance does she have really. From the first variable of physical appearance to the preferences of right or left side of the bed. Each of us wants different things, expects different things, some expect to land the greatest partner ever. Will never stop tossing others aside until they are found. Are completely happy with themselves and their lives and dont need a person to lean on but rather would like a partner in life. Others are lonely and really have a hole in their middles that needs to be filled, and a partner is what they hope will fill it. While others still are pretty happy just getting laid. Our friend is very nice for trying but although she knows us as we present ourselves to her, she cant possibly know what each of us brings as far as expectations for a partner.
We are all different coming in to relationships and sometimes things happen midstream to change us forever too. It seems that when we are young we are shaped like playdough, and we all just mush into one another playfully and pull apart just as easily. Ever seen a boy walk over to another and simply say, "want to play?" ? The answer is always yes, and when its time to go, neither thinks much about pulling apart and never seeing one another again. Fast forward to our first date. Here again we are like soft playdough, all excited and nervous. Happy to be going on a 'Date', and really excited to be going on a date with the person coming up the steps right now. We get mushy and mush together at the door and hopefully the date goes well. If it does we stay mushy....see where this is going? If it doesnt, we recognize something in the other that was not so appealing, and we form a hard edge to that for the next time. The playdough is soft and mushy everywhere except right there in that one small flat hard edge. Life and dating continue, friends have both good and bad dates that all get shared and each time a date goes badly another harder edge forms to keep that situation from happening again next time. "Ok I will never again date a man who asks me out wearing a wife-beater!" Simple but there it is, an edge. Its a boundry. So as we mature and grow older looking for the one to finally grow old and die with, the older we get the more edges there are and the harder it is for each person to click their playdough together with the others. We look more and more like rocks trying to mush together little areas near the bottom. Maybe his is near the left side but hers is absolutely near the bottom what will happen? Nothing. No call back. Faster and faster we recognize what are well known as Red Flags to us. Aha, now I have your attention. God Damit that is what he has been talking about. Yes I know Red Flags. Well did you have any on your very first date? Maybe you did. But not likely. You were mushier.
But isn't it exciting when you meet someone you do really 'click' with. Your mushy spots match up to their mushy spots just right, and you come together with an easy "Click!" like two jigsaw pieces.
Dont feel guilty at all for looking for red flags later as you go, especially early on. We all do it. Ask prodding questions to a man like "So have you got any feelings towards other men....ya know sexually?" Trying to find latent homosexuality especially if you are well dressed, clean, in good shape and single in Seattle is common. Fair question. Maybe she has no intereste in Three ways, and does not want that brought up later. Fine. Maybe someone was cheated on, so they ask if the other has ever cheated on anyone in their life, or ever lied to another. Whatever, they are all searching for red flags, listening to answers and hoping they find nothing. Hoping they dont see what has burned them in the past. I like very much to hear my woman say "Good answer" after one of my various tests. I know we just fit together a little better then. Click!