The vacation frame of mind....its different in all ways

I like to take trips. That might seem like an obvious statement anyone could say, but I like them enough, that I will do it alone. I will pack my bags, drive myself to the airport and get on a plane to another city, without a contact person when I get there and enjoy every second of it. Once there I will take my favorite mode of transportation, taxi's to whatever hotel I had arranged for. And from there experience the freedom of a schedule-less day. I love to take trips. I know, I know, you do too. But why?

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Everybody has a different view on what the best way to vacation or explore is too. There are endless suggestions that could be made and still not cover them all. Truly everyone has a different way to enjoy their time away from home. Some of you will grab a beach bag, and head straight to the pool, grab a lounge chair in the sun, drop a book by your side, close your eyes and feel the heat melting your muscles. Others have to find the beach, but ultimately do the same thing with the same bag full of lotion, water, towel, phone (if you are like me…sigh), and some cash to order drinks. Others want to walk the streets, see the people, explore the old churches and castles that the city may offer. Walk a cobble stone street that was made seven hundred years ago and get lost in time. Some may choose golf so they can add another golf course mark to the bedpost. Whatever it is that does 'it' for you, I would imagine the liberating feeling of being away is the universal dynamic we would all share. It's the rush that we all share regardless of our activities. But what is at the heart of it?

Something about, and I am preaching to the choir here I realize, the newness of everything while on a trip. Everything from the sounds of the birds, the smells of the city or the local foliage, to the voices and accents of those who don't live near you is compelling isn't it? It brings out the feeling of being a kid in you because you are exploring, learning and seeing everything for the first time again. Eyes wide with fascination that around every corner a new treasure may be found. If even it's just a McDonalds that serves clam chowder. I find that, and for I believe this very reason of being submerged in newness that I become friendlier. It's so odd that I have not yet figured out how to bring that desire to speak with everyone I meet, to speak with everyone and tell them where I am from, to assume that they will be interested in hearing what I have to say when I don't know them and will never see them again. It's so special and I wonder why I have not been able to master that? Every time I return to SeaTac airport I clam up again. Begin to notice the cracks in the sidewalks, the weeds while I walk rather than the people. While on a trip I talk to café owners, clerks, cab drivers, and whoever is unlucky enough to sit next to me on the, well choose one; Boat, bus, taxi, shuttle, mule, wagon etc, etc. I will begin talking to anyone who looks like they have teeth. Yet when I get back home, I slip back into Seattle Dave, rather than vacation Dave.

Vacation Dave is a lot of fun if you have never met him. He wakes up when the light wakes him up which makes him up happy, puts on comfy clothes which makes his body happy, gets coffee and a paper, which makes his brain happy, then usually starts drinking poolside by eleven, which makes him so happy and relaxed he pees his shorts. No worries the pool is right there so no one will know. And it's chlorinated I presume, so just say Ahhhhh and get off my back.

Vacation Dave makes friends wherever he goes, learns life stories, and shares them. What is it about the being on vacation, no not even vacation, just being away from home and not working. What is it that brings out the kid so strongly, that makes us so friendly? How do we bottle that and bring it home with us? Sip on it through the winter, when the sun is gone for months. Ugh, I am having to fight the urge to slit my wrists just thinking about it. Remember I live in ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Seattle.


How do we bring that friendliness back with us, rather than re-attaching our blinders, rather than placing ourselves back in the caste system we escaped from? I have even found myself in grocery stores in other states, alone talking with shoppers. What the hell is that? I don't talk to strangers at my local grocery store. I get what I want, push people out of my way to get it, and block the old lady to get to the front of the line to get out first. I am not proud of that, but it's true. What makes me so polite while away? My god, what if everyone was like that all the time? It wouldn't matter then if Bush was president or not because the world would have no problems and even he couldn't screw that up. But just to be safe, let's not include him. He is one of those who spends long hours into the night thinking and making himself notes on how to seem stupider than the day before. Clearly he is a savant in this talent. Kudos for that I suppose. However my dog Kini makes better decisions daily than he does.

What this is is the "vacation frame of mind". Our better selves shine through, the selves that we like about ourselves and the selves that our partners love about us, or fell in love with. Its not the selves that worries and gripes about the bad day, the traffic, the messy house, the chores or how tired they are. Its not the selves that in the shadow of the rut we have created for ourselves. It's the selves we were when we were kids. Open, loose, not care free, or careless, but worry free. Stress free. For a while others can see the sun shining on us because we have escaped the rut that keeps our emotions underground and it makes them want to talk to us, makes them curious about us. We can do this right here at home, cant we? I could go down to the Pikes Place Market and start talking to a stranger, couldn't I? Or could I?

I think the first step in bringing this home is as simple as raising our eyes while we walk, looking into others eyes, and keeping a half smile on our face all the time. Not a clown face smile, scaring children and pets, but keeping the muscles in our face ready to smile at an instant. Some of you do this naturally others of us have to work it, why I don't know. Genetics superiority I suppose. You are naturally more charismatic, but I have to work this. If I don't keep these muscles tight and ready to go, I can't smile quick enough to catch the moment. Can't make that happy first impression we make with so many others that comes naturally to all of us while on vacation. Noticing others eyes as they walk past or work in front of you. Often they are in a rut, after all they are not on vacation, but when they see you looking straight into their eyes, holding it long enough for them to notice the smile, the vacation frame of mind is upon us.

Everyone is a person, and no not even I want to talk or interact with everyone. But so many of us think that others would not want to talk with us, even for a minute. That they wouldn't be interested in what we have to say, or we have no common bond to share like you do while on a vacation. While on a beach in Mexico you can be pretty sure that the other person you are about to talk to is also on vacation, therefore you have an instant conversation. But while at home, people are people. Everyone else feels the same way we do, and if you see the same checker at the store, week after week and think they would not know who you are, because they see so many people, you are wrong. They are thinking the same thing of you and everyone else. That they are not noticed, not important to anyone. You start the conversation, say "hey good to see you again". Or "see you next time". Suddenly your world begins to expand. You find that others are noticing you all the time and you can make both their day better but also make yours better too. I think its all about bringing the vacation frame of mind home with us, keeping it On all the time.

I am going to the store right now, and I am going to smile at someone. I am going to notice someone and let them know I Know who they are. I am going to pretend to be on vacation right now.