Women are just like bananas....maybe old ones.

I just walked through my kitchen the other day and noticed a small swarm of fruit flies buzzing around my sink. Like anyone, I looked around knowing that a swarm of the pests had to come from somewhere and because of the name I knew to look for older fruit. Sure enough there were two bananas that never made it into a fruit smoothy, getting older, past their prime with very little yellow visible, only black. Before I tossed the offending fruit away I had one thought, which is completely off the topic, and that is where do these damn flies come from. Are they in my fruit already, just waiting to emerge after a certain period of time, or do they appear out of thin air. Not an answer I have, but always chasing after useless knowledge I promise to find out.
We all know what to look for when we go to the grocery store shopping for fruit and vegetables. We all have our own ways, usually handed down from our mothers, and their mothers before them as to what to look for, smell for, or feel for to determine which piece of corn, or which apple, peach etc is the best of the bunch. I am a pincher. I check the corn with my nail to see if one of the kernals pops when poked or just squishes. I press once hard into my apples to see if the snap or mush. I know what I am looking for and this may be the best reason for washing your fruit after getting home. If for no other reason than because I manhandled it before you.
Cars get older, houses get older and so do people. Men get more refined, more dignified so the saying goes, and in some cases that is true. The fellows on Nightline older than me don't qualify but some seem to luck into this category. However women feel that there is a ticking clock. For some things there are, pregnancy for one. Not that becoming pregnant can't be accomplished later in life, say after forty, but it becomes more difficult and slightly riskier. But women do feel that there is a life expectancy to their beauty, their desirability, their marketability. So this is the question; Are women like bananas to men?
I find, the more I socialize, that there is a huge variety of men, with a nearly endless variety of desires, wants, and expectations. One fellow I know, who is not held in very high regard, wants his women to follow in the style of Tom Leykis. He is strong believer that his woman should be subservient to himself, and feels that from time to time he should tell her so. Well most people would go ahead and classify him as both an idiot and an asshole, I have, but still that exists. Others, want a professional, someone with a great life already, who will do nothing but compliment him, add to his life. Others may want no one that speaks, only looks pretty. This last group I think is the group that appears the biggest, gets the most press, is the one referred to the most often by drunk women crying over their vodka martinis, wishing they were still young. Does this group of men really hold as much sway as women believe?
Perfection is desired by all magazines, all movies, and all television shows and when perfection cannot be found, it is created. I have found a website that advertises "Airbrushing to the stars". Stars like Halle Barry, as beautiful as she is, and she is she is on my 5-list( the one I take to every relationship and is lamenated), needs airbrushing to make it on the cover a magazine. She is not beautiful enough for a magazine to publish a photo of her untouched. No one is. There are no longer Playboys, Esquires, or Maxims published without the aid of professional artists who specialize in brushing lines, wrinkles, and sun damage. When I photograph people I airbrush too. It is just the way it is done now-a-days. So what this means is for that group of men, who are looking for nothing but eye candy, and for you women who are the most harsh on yourselves, is that you are inundated with images of perfection, of unattainable beauty. This by itself would not be an issue except that you women internalize it. And then even worse you seek it out. There are more women's magazines demonstrating this than men's on every grocery store shelf in every part of the world. You yourself are your worst enemy.
I wonder how you would begin to 'feel' inside if you stopped flipping through the glamour rags for a couple of weeks, stopped watching the 'E' Channel of Entertainment tonight, so that your brain would have a chance to detox from all of the imagery. I may never know the answer to that because I don't really know what it feels like to begin with. But you could. Maybe you already have, and if so, please share. Maybe you will feel better about yourself….Hmmm. What a novel thought.
So lets turn the question around and point it at me. You may be saying "Sure David, you talk the talk but what do you think of the hotties jumping around on stage at the Playboy mansion, or the new up and coming starlet like Britney when she was still Hot." Ahem. Or when you look through photos on Myspace or Match. Are you affected by young beauty? I would answer honestly in saying that yes I am. I also stop and look at works of art while walking through Bellevue Square, I enjoy a beautiful house and an amazing automobile. Beautiful women are attractive to look at, but so are men to women. Do you all remember the Diet Coke commercial with the office women staring down at the construction worker? But I don't reach out to people like that who don't satisfy other criteria. Criteria that you probably posses and they don't. I, and most of my male friends, who are successful in their own ways, do not even consider dating a woman much under our age, and all of us have dated women above. For us, you are bananas but the ripening is subjective and changes with us. A woman may be too old, just like a man, to a young guy, but to a man your own age perfect. We want what you want. The only concern is whether a man you are interested in is actually looking or not. If he is happy playing the field well then your 'Picker' is broken and you need to work on that. We want conversation, if we are looking. If we are looking for a match, we are looking for shared experiences, commonalities just like you. Attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder. This you as an individual need to make peace with. I realize that even though I keep myself in shape and still have all my hair and teeth, I am not everyone's cup of tea. Some women, whether younger, my age or older, just do not find my style attractive. This is the case with everyone. It could be the way I speak, the hobbies I have, or the ones I don't. It can be almost anything, but it's not really personal. No one means to NOT be attracted. It just works out that way. I have heard women say "You could have any one you want" and I am here to say that is just not true. One of my college friends told me something that has stuck over the years, and I am going to tell you because it applies to everyone of you. He said "I am more likely to get that person, you are more likely to keep them" If you fit that mold then take it. It's the better road to be on. Its not, however, the road that leads to the spotlight on E.
I have found myself marveling at Mathew McConaughey on the cover of news magazines as he comes running out of the water carrying a surfboard, and I know you have too. But I do not think myself less attractive because of it. However and you need to be honest here, if he and I were sitting side by side at a restaurant, maybe both with our shirts off, as odd as that sounds, which one would you be eyeballing? Sure, no harm done. I am not offended at all. He may be more likely to get the girl but I am….well you know the rest.
The point here is to tell you to stop letting the clock bother you. It does not exist unless you always want to be attractive to twenty year olds. That is pretty cool I understand, but you don't really want them, at least for more than a night. For those you are truly interested in, if we narrow them down to those who are actually 'looking' you are perfect and will always be. Your age, your lines, your face are just what he is looking for because it goes along with you, your experiences your heart and your ability to laugh. There are lots of seventy year olds just now finding their soul-mate….maybe for the third time. I date people my own age and always will. You will too!
Big Smile at you!