Bitchy today? Got a reason?

Approximately six weeks ago I was in a car accident with my kids. We were traveling on I-5 in the left hand lane going about 35 miles per hour, when a small Honda appeared on my left, between me and the concrete barrier. He was passing traffic on the shoulder and moving at a high rate of speed too. As soon as he passed us he cut in front and locked up his brakes (or stalled it no one knows for sure), either way we slammed into him and were creamed from behind too. Don't worry I am going somewhere with all of this, but still it's an interesting story so stick with me. The three cars involved all pulled to the side of the road, and I, after checking the status of the kids, called 911. I knew this was pretty bad, especially with what this guy had done, but really I had no idea. The driver of the Honda, who caused the accident, jumped out and came back to my car while I was speaking to the police. I stayed put but cracked my window ( smartest thing I could have done there, even though I wanted to get out and pound the skinny bastard.) He kept talking to me through the crack and tried to get me off the phone to talk with him only, but I silenced him and told him that I was already on the phone with the cops. "You are talking with the cops right now?!" He asked. "Yep"

He fled. And off he drove in a cloud of smoke.

The other car and I stayed behind, reported the fleeing mans license to the police, exchanged information and injury reports with one another, but with all okay, the cars all munched but drivable, we left.

Later that day, as I am still trying to calm down, my Mercedes looking pretty bad, both front and back, in my driveway, I get a call from the police. They were looking for a statement from me and offering me more information about the offender whom they had caught. Turned out they caught him about mile or so down the freeway where he caused another accident with two other cars. Pretty bad huh? But it gets worse. The car he was driving was stolen, yes he stole it and that explains the erratic driving, he was escaping, but worse still he had Carjacked it. Actually pulled a person out of it, violently, and took it. Now its time for the feel-good ironic part. The car he carjacked was a stick shift, but he had only learned how to drive an automatic.

That explained the cloud of smoke as he left the accident with me. His transmission and clutch were burning up. He was driving in first gear on the freeway, and may explain why he stalled in front of me. He might have tried to shift. What a Putz! What a woman! Oh dear God did I just say that out loud??! I take that back.

So, five cars damaged, one person left on the street, apparently okay, but I have not heard, and all because of one person, with no money, no insurance, no drivers license and no way to compensate all of us who have to pay deductibles for our uninsured motorists coverage. Its okay, we managed to get through another accident with no injuries. Read an earlier blog on how when you buy something new, you have to expect it will get damaged, because it will, and begin dealing with it with a good attitude now. All in all this was a Good day. My kids survived this without a scratch. Its just a car after all. I think my priorities are pretty well in place.

Now it has been six weeks since my car has been towed away and I am about to get it back (crossing fingers). What do you think my expectations will be for the quality of that car? What would you expect? Would a pretty good job be sufficient? Would it be alright if the hood was put back on close, but not quite perfect, or the paint black, but not shiny? Hell no! Right? What would you expect? For me it's Perfection. Brand spanking new is what I expect. But the question is what will happen if its not?

If you have ever called your cable company, phone company, or internet company (oh right that is the same company), and demanded that something be fixed, not just when they can but 'Right Now!". If you have ever uttered the words "This is unacceptable" (My pet peeve by the way) then you too expect perfection. If your bill is five dollars more than you expected, or your internet is down for one day you want compensation right? I bet you have even gotten out your calculator to figure out how much one day of internet costs you and tried to get them to "pay it back." And then comically wanted to charge them for your "Time." Ha. Please. But the question is it worth it?

After I bought the house I am in now, I had a bathroom remodeled and used the handyman the previous owners had used to do it. I picked out all of the fixtures, paint, and flooring and once 'done' I came in to check on it. Unbelievable. He had left the worst work in the world and had said he was done. The walls were bumpy, and uneven, the paint was not smooth and glossy anywhere, and the sink had not been hooked up right. Of course I pointed it all out and had him work some more on it and told him to call me when it was done ( I was not living there at the time). He called a day later and I asked him about all the jobs. "Yes, all done" he said, and I said fine. It wasn't. And I let it go.
Four years later I still look at the walls and still am bugged. Why did I let it go? Why was I just nice to him? He was a very nice guy, but why did I let it go? I still don't know, but I know that it made me feel burned, and I probably won't let it happen again.

All of us expect perfection from ourselves too. We all think we do a great job at what we do, try to find someone who will say "No I am just average at my job." Just try. You can't do it. Even the guy who takes money at the booth on the way into the dump will say that he/she does an above average job if asked. Everyone thinks, incorrectly by the way, that they are more important to their job than they really are. Especially after being at a job for a while. But were you, or I, to drop off the face of the planet tomorrow, our jobs would be filled by someone else who will eventually think the same thing. You are not irreplaceable. If you think you are, then you might be taking yourself too seriously. "Here's your sign" as the comedian says.

So how do we feel when some customer of ours gets in our grill about a job not done 'perfectly' by either us or the company we work for. Maybe a refrigerator was delivered with a tiny scratch on the back, bottom left side where the wall goes. Or the paperwork is behind schedule by a few days, or the "widget' will be delivered a day later than expected. Oh Holy Hell! The world is coming to an end. Right? Now it's our turn to try to explain how it happened, how this is unusual and that you all did your best but maybe a mistake was really made or maybe a partner company made a mistake that is now reflecting on you. It all makes sense to you, but conveying that through the tirade is not easy is it? So why are we such hard asses to others when it happens to us? We know how it feels to be cornered by an obvious mistake that we made and all we ask is the time to make it 'right'. To be able to offer an apology and fix it. Don't you think that everyone else wants the same thing? Usually the person you are talking to has had nothing to do with the mistake, but still "UNACCEPTABLE!" is finding its way from your lips to his/her ears.

There is a subject the book called The Secret talks about more than any other. It's about bringing to you what you think about most. I wont deal with it here, most of you know about this, if you don't it is worth checking out because it's all true and useful. What I will say is that if you expect a fight while picking up the phone and digging out the number of the offending company, you will find one. It's just so simple. If you are saying with a back and forth head swagger something like "Oh HELL no!" then you will have a fight on your hands. But just like the book speaks about, if you get on the phone expecting to have everything taken care of, to have a helpful person willing to fix your issue and offer an apology, and probably more, then you will get that as well. Happens to me all the time.

Expect things to go well, expect perfection, but when it is not delivered remember that the person in front of you did not wake up that day, kiss his wife and say "God Damn it, I want to have a fucked up day with lots of people yelling at me, and then I want to screw them and laugh as they leave" They woke up, and hoped that everything they would do, everything they are responsible for would go well, that they would encounter nice people, so when they go back home to that same wife, and she asks, "How was your day?" He can say, "You know what? It was a good day, there were some mistakes but everyone was nice about them, and I got them all taken care of."

My car was supposed to be delivered on Thursday. Today is Sunday, its been six weeks, and I am still in my rental. He called me on first on Thursday then again on Friday to tell me it would not be done then either, and I was upset. I was. This rental car is costing me money each day, even with the insurance. But what I told him, through gritted teeth, was that "Yes I was upset, but not with him, just the situation" I told him this was not personal, I just really wanted it back. He gave me an honest apology, told me why it had happened, that he really was trying to make things look perfect, and would make it right to me. I don't expect any compensation from him, but I do think that when I pick it up, he will say Thank you for being so patient. He will be genuinely grateful. It may not seem like much, but having a person's gratitude and smile, is worth something to me. If it's done right, and if it goes the way I expect, I will drive away tomorrow in my Mercedes and be in a good mood. Anyone want to ask me tomorrow night how my day was? I am sure I will answer it was a great day, because I expect it to be. ;)