Growing old TOGETHER

Everyone has a something about themselves, usually their bodies, that is their least favorite part. Even supermodels seem to have something. "My thighs" I heard Tyra Banks say is her least favorite part of her body. Please. But still we all have them, dont think for a second that because he or she over there in the corner looks hot, that they dont have an insecurity or two hiding behind their Gucci sunglasses. They do, we all do. Mine is my legs. Always been on the narrow side, you might say, always been on the saving space for everyone elses legs side...always been skinny. But today I saw this little old fellow walking across the freeway overpass, and I had two thoughts, my first thought was I dont think in my entire life have I ever walked across a freeway overpass. Am I missing something? It was 85 degrees, this little fellow was probably 85 years old and here he was hell and gone from anything I could see that might act like a chair, or a cold glass of white wine, and I was buzzing past in my black car, sunroof open music blaring and generally trying to look hotter than I really am. There in front of me was an experience that I have not taken life up on. Maybe there is not much reason to, but hell just because he is old does not mean he is stupid. Odds are he has forgotten more about the world than I may ever know. There must be something to this walking across the freeway thing but I still have not put my brain around it, so I will wait another fifty years and see if it comes to me. But the second thought I had, as I looked at his white socks pulled up to his knees, was damn those are some skinny ass legs. And for one moment, well maybe longer than that I will admit, I felt better about myself. ARRGGHH, I want to shoot myself but its true, my legs looked better than his and for one second I gloated. I also wondered where I could find those knee highs. Clearly newish because they were whiter than any sock I own. His legs looked like two golf clubs in sneakers. SKINNY! How can comparing myself to him, or anyone for that matter make me feel different about anything at all? Why should it, and why would I let it. Some of you will say well its vanity. Ok, yes it is. What else? Insecurity maybe? Sure. Normal to compare ourselves and judge ourselves by others accomplishments, yes but I guess not with 85 year old men walking with knee high tube socks.
But as Forest Gump said so wisely, Stupid is as stupid does, and that goes for old too. Whatever the hell it means. We are all getting older together, everyone of us is doing alone but all at once. Are we making sure to enjoy moments and to reach out and walk in the rain, to hold on to the one you love and tell them over and over again, even if they might not deserve it that you love them? Work now and play later? Working hard for the family so they may have a better life? Well there may be no later for you, or maybe no later for the one you love. Today might just be it. Not one person who has ever been killed on the freeway, or attacked in New York we hear about on the news so often, ever planned it or set aside time in their busy schedule to die. Not one of them said a last loving goodbye to their kids, or their families knowing it would be their last so it had better be a good one. Not one. I might be next, you might be, so I can tell you what. Time is only on our sides when we are together. That is when it is the most valuable to us, when hard earned money can not be traded for mere seconds.
Have we all heard the story of the wealthy older man who was lying in his bed, knowing he was near death. He had made a fortune in the last few years and was really on top of his game when this happened. On his bed a reporter asked a quick question that was not the most noted question of the afternoon but I think the most important answer came from it. He asked if he would trade all of his wealth, every penny for another year of life, and the man said "In a heartbeat". Take it all, give me another year with my family, and my love. The money is worthless to me now.
Money is worthless? Well that is not true of most of us as we are still healthy and moving forward with our lives, and I still would rather have more of it than less, but give me a chance to leave work early to run around and play catch with my kids and I would do it in a second. Ask me if I would take a week off when it will cost me to get the chance to spend time with my love, whom I may not see again for weeks, and I would do it without blinking. I love life, and I thank god every night for another day of it. I love breathing, c'mon feel that air go into your lungs. One day that wont happen. Does that sound gruesome to you, well it shouldnt it is just like when you are sitting in front of the TV eating a pile of Oreos. There you are munching your Oreos staring at your favorite drama and Oh Boy is it ever good tonight. You reach down to grab the last Oreo but....its gone. The damn thing must have fallen between your crummy thighs, or into the couch cushions, or maybe it was that God Damn dog! But no, actually you did eat it. Ate it and did not even know it. Did not enjoy it one tiny little bit. Gone. All those calories added to your butt, and no pleasure to offset it. So this is the question, are you enjoying every cookie like it might be your last? Every Breath? Enjoying this very moment right now, as you read this, like it is heaven on earth? Look around and find something beautiful, find something in the air, or the trees, or on the street that can make you smile and say Damn, life is good.
We all have bad days, maybe because we get broken up with or decide to break up with another. Friends come down with cancer, others may hurt themselves on purpose or get hurt by others. We can get various types of colds, flu's or worse. Life can be stressful, hell it is all the time. Somehow each of us can and should say to ourselves, with absolute stubborness, outloud with the radio down if we are in the car so we can hear ourselves, 'I will enjoy this day anyway!' That is a winners attitude. Its not fake if you really do it. Allowing the negative to re-circulate through our heads, or the last words of the love that left you, or the worry about what they might be doing when you are not there is all usefull to a degree. Lets' us recheck what we did, make corrections that may get better results next time, or look back and apologize, but for the most part it is stewing, and next time you notice you are stewing, notice your vision. I bet its on the narrow side. Yeah, I bet you have tunnel vision when you are most upset. Cant see peripherally unless you make an effort, and as soon as you do, you will feel a short lived sence of relief. Just that moment of input from the world you are still living in is enough to reduce your stress by a few seconds or maybe a minute. We all have shit, all of us, not one person we read about in People or Us, with all of their money and fame is fault free, or problem free. Not one. Every one has cried themselves to sleep on 800 thread count pillows at one point or another....well fame does have its benefits.
Dont give up on love, if it is real. Believe in it whenever possible because it is rare. Never fool yourself that it will come around again quickly or that it is not worth the trouble. It wont and it is, it is always better with love in our lives than without.