Sex and the Car salesman

With the enormous variety of people on this planet at any given time, it is impossible to speak broadly enough to encompass everyone in any one thought or idea, or narrow down a thought far enough to be clear and universal and still be pertinent to the masses. I think that the two topics that most illustrate this point are religion and sex.

As far as religion go, let's just not go there. There are just too many spin offs of too many base religions and then too many people who cherry pick what they believe from their given structure, the one they are most familiar with, to be able to group together anyone cohesively. I go to church, I like my church, but don't agree with everything my pastor says, and would probably, in the right environment, enjoy another denomination just as much. I cherry pick my beliefs, and I bet you do too. Even within the same church walls we differ.

So before I go any further into exploring the male brain for those of you that are interested in it, let me say that I will generalize and there is nothing much I can do about it. You may not fit into what I say, and that is fine. No one fits perfectly, but I will open up the doors and this might improve your chances of getting more out of whatever it is you are looking for. Figure out what is going on, and then learn what you can do about it to make it fit your goals.

What is going on in a male brain when it comes to sex? Well that is pretty easy on the surface and honestly pretty easy down a few inches too, maybe Six? But what is going on in your brain when it comes to sex? That is the more important question. What do you expect from a first date, a fifth date, a long term relationship? What do you want a year from now, or ten? What do you really want and more importantly if you can figure out the answer to that question, what are you willing to give up to get it? If its just sex and fun, then great you are not who I am talking to. I am talking to those of you who want more than that.

When you go to a car dealership everyone knows what it is that you want and in general it's a car. If you spend a little time looking at one particular car everyone who is paying attention, and they always are, knows which one you are interested in. The only question is how to get past the known objections, of which there are only a few that are common, that you will toss half heartedly their way, to get you to buy the car. Regardless of how much money you make or how you made it, regardless of how sharp a suit or what color sweats you wore, they know what you want, and are betting that with their words they can get you to lay down. Lie down and say AHHHH. You hate this. We all hate it. We know they know, and we try to be the tough one, the strong one. The one that will not get pushed around. We want so badly to be the one in control but absolutely are not when we play this game on their grounds. They are. They will give up a little to get a lot. They will smile, nod, and offer up their 'everything' to help you get what you already want. Truly they are doing nothing more than that. Just capitalizing on the fact that this game has few variations and as long as they can keep you within that field, they will win out.

Without going into all of the things that you can do wrong here, there is only one that really matters. There is only one thing that you can do wrong that affects everything else. It's what puts the cards in their hands, gives them control over you. What could that be with the endless variety of people out there, what one thing could be so universal? Its time. Are you willing to walk away today and really mean it. Are you willing to walk away from what you think is a great deal on a car that gives you a proverbial boner and go home in your piece of shit that has a muffler dragging and making sparks on the pavement behind you? Or do you just want it so bad you are willing to accept their 'best offer', willing to take what is offered as a 'last offer' so you can drive it home?

Sex is the same way, but before we go there, lets finish this one. Go to a car dealership next time you are thinking about it, maybe go there tomorrow to practice. What do you care if you use some of their time and drive a few cars just for fun. But if you are serious go to the dealership with one thing in mind. You have to know that you want 'This type of car', and are only willing to let them earn a fair amount of profit. They wont sell a car below their cost so forget being able to steal from them, just be fair. 500 bucks is fair for any car. Figure out what you want before you spend any real time at the lot. Homework. Figure it out long before you make any friends of salespeople, and certainly before you agree to go inside. Just walk around and ask for privacy. Ask, with a smile, to just be allowed to browse. Maybe take their card as a sign of goodwill but do not let them walk around with you. Its not time yet for that. If you don't see anything, don't ask them for what you are looking for, leave. Go to another lot, or go look on the internet. Leave though. This is your time for shopping alone.

If you find a car you like, or know of one you like, look at it carefully. Look at the options it offers that are easy to see, maybe write it down quickly, then leave showing no interest with the guys card, and find as similar a car as you can on another lot. If you don't see one, look on the internet until you do, you need a reference point and need a competitor. I mean NEED.

Lets say you now have two similar cars, both of which you would be happy to drive ( and I mean that) both with similar options and are of the same year make and model. Now go back to the first one, the one you took the card from. Lets say the price was 32,500. Walk back over and admire the car till your sucker comes back. Make sure it's the same guy, and mention his name if someone else comes out. If he is there, he will come out. And immediately get a hard on. Its like the chick at the bar who rejected him, just came back and the game is back on. Like many board games we know what he wants, and we know his first move and that is to get your trust with fake smiles and friendship. Fine. Play along. But play happy and ignorant. Not cold and bitchy. Just keep admiring the car, but say something like "Wow this is gorgeous but unfortunately its just out of my range" He will ask what your range is and I would say something like '$27,500 and that is all I have". He will usually try to get you thinking and talking in terms of payment here and will ask what you want for a payment, but say that is not as important as the exact price because I only have this much budgeted. Then I would sigh, smile and say well its just out of my range I guess, thanks for your help. Now the game has changed away from what he is used to, and it will take him out of his element, now he is in save the possible sale mode, and dropping price mode. He will ask you to wait while he checks with his manager, then will quote another price. Somewhere a bit lower but not near what you really want. Tell him, and really sounding appreciative and meek say "Thanks so much, but I really just cant go any higher than 27,500 I would buy it if I could" (Smile) "Thanks for trying, I really appreciate your help, but if anything changes on this car, please call me, here is my number." Then leave and wait for him to call you with a better deal. You may not get that car for 27500, or at all, but I bet you do, or come very close. You got him working for you against his manager, trying to get the price you want so he can close a sale and get a commission right now, rather than working with his manager trying to maximize a commission. He just wants one now. .

This is exactly how the game goes with guys and gals at a bar. And as a female you have to know what your game is going in, because the guy will be saying what you want to hear as best he can to get into your pants. Maybe that is what you want, fine. But maybe you are hoping to get lucky and meet a really good guy, and you know what, you might have. He might be the one who has had a few drinks and is trying to get into your pants right now. He might be a real good one….probably not, but Might! But to find out you have to know how his brain works when it comes to sex.

Sex for a man is not just an animal instinctual behavior, nor is it just a romantic passionate behavior. It can be both, either, but never both with the same woman. That is an important point, it cannot ever be both with the same woman. True, your man who loves you, and has made love to you, can go crazy with you and cut loose, that is not what I mean. The instinctual drive to get laid I mean is the single mindedness with which a lot of guys spend their time in. Each Friday and Saturday they look forward to another notch on the belt, another conquest, another one night stand. I am assuming that you are smart enough right now already, to recognize this type and I think the only ones who wake up with those guys are the female equivalents. No one is surprised in the morning that he is leaving without asking for a phone number. But any guy who begins to get attention from an attractive woman will have that at the forefront of their minds at first regardless of his true nature. Rarely does he begin by hoping for a long term relationship, meaningful relationship, while you are giggling, and sipping a vodka tonic twirling your hair. The thought is Quite simply…"Maybe I am going to get lucky".

A mans brain will categorize a person right away. Its sort of a hierarchy of people. Every man a guy meets is categorized into a place of being either superior or inferior to him. The degree of separation is noted then they either play out those roles or get past it to friendship. But when meeting a woman who shows interest the initial placement is into a toy category. From there it is the woman's words, and actions that either confirm this or change it. Whether she accepts the role, or throws it back at him. But when a man meets a woman then uses that woman as a toy in bed before truly getting to know her, the role is stuck. She is now either a toy or an annoyance. Never, can a man who felt that way initially about a woman ever fall in love with her after that.

Respect has to be earned, and that is up to you. You cannot put it to words and demand it. It does not work that way. For this to have a chance you need to talk. He needs to find you interesting enough to want to talk back. He needs to find you attractive from the inside before you allow him to sleep with you. You need to know it is true too, because that is part of the game. Respect comes from a woman who makes a man wait, but is entertaining enough to make the man enjoy her company. Make her into a friend. Until the respect is earned there is no chance for anything more than just the toy type of sex, never a chance for you to turn it. But once a man really enjoys your company, really wants to be with you, then the sex becomes romantic. Loving and caring. If he will walk away because he had to wait, then he was not ready for anything more. If you were to try you would only keep him as long as the sex stayed exciting and there were no dramatic problems. So many of you lie to yourselves that by keeping him placated with sex there is a chance…There isn't. None, ever! He has the control emotionally because the bar is set pretty low with you. If the drama becomes more trouble than the sex is worth either you give in, or he walks. You have to be able to walk away from this in the beginning, just like the car. You have to be willing to lose a guy that you think could really be a good buy, to ever be able to truly have him. Change the game, get him out of his element, and watch how he shows his true colors, shows his true heart and shows his true intentions.